


if nothing else

by brynhildvelvet



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, just having someone being there for you sort of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 18:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16124552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brynhildvelvet/pseuds/brynhildvelvet
Summary: at the very least these children of destiny can have this for themselves.long evenings in yongen-jaya that ren and goro spend together before the end.He is there when Akechi comes in, who arrives right as the sun starts setting and stays into deep evening, not catching just the tail of his evening when he insists on leaving. Ren’s eyes catches on his slumped shoulders, snagging in the folds in his jacket from a long day, and in those moments the well in his heart that holds his love for the boy deepens ever more.





	if nothing else

**Author's Note:**

> my own take on all the hangouts these two should of had in the game, that the anime finally gave us a taste of

When Ren doesn't feel like hanging out or studying or doing anything productive really, being at LeBlanc helps.

All he wants to do is stare out the the door into the alleyway from behind the cafe counter, ruminating in inaction and coffee scents. He left his phone upstairs, so that any messages will be unread until he goes up. Until tonight, until morning, until he cannot ignore it any longer, perhaps.

Those afternoons, he is there when Akechi comes in, who arrives right as the sun starts setting and stays into deep evening; not catching just the tail of his evening when he insists on leaving. Ren’s eyes catches on his slumped shoulders, snagging in the folds in his jacket from a long day, in those moments he is more of a young boy than a shiny detective prince. He spreads papers over the counter as the two of them mire themselves into a dependable, easy routine.

Without words, many an evening pass in the balmy summer, Ren the guardian of this haven that Akechi does not, cannot, give up even for his own good. From behind the counter comes out cups of coffee that couldn't be any good for their sleep schedules either.

For now, it doesn't matter who they are. Hours a day stolen away, days stolen, until it becomes months, when destiny or fate or whatever it is throws them face first into the dirt.

Ren thinks they both get it. That while they call themselves rivals with opposing goals, it is precisely because of those roles that only they can understand the burden placed on them. When it's just the two of them, they can pretend to be amiable acquaintances without a hint of tension.

Akechi’s eyes flash up at him from under his fringe when Ren reaches across not to take his saucer and cup, but to present a delicate slice of cake and accompanying fork. Recently, Ren can categorize Akechi’s expressions based on what he has to work on that evening. A quiet pensiveness, eyes focused, but without a minute frown that signals his detective paperwork arranges his face today, and Ren guesses that he is reading a novel.

A moment's pause as Akechi draws himself out of the novel's world to acknowledge the gift.

“What is this, Amamiya-kun?”

Ren quirks his lips a little when Akechi looks to him, his face muscles feel particularly tired today.

“It's a gift, detective, for being such a dedicated patron at this café. That's all.”

“Oh?” Akechi’s voice tilts up teasingly towards the end as he draws out the syllable. “This is unexpected, was this on your own prerogative or did Sakura-san suggest it?”

The fork tinks lightly as it cuts through the sponge, delivering to an awaiting mouth. Pink lips closing around the utensil, tightening, and pulling back. A little hum as the cream hits the tongue.

“It’s aalll me. I, ah, figured you like sweets.”

“And where did you get such an impression, may I ask?”

“I found your food blog.” He hadn’t meant to tell him, oh well, guess he hadn’t been trying too hard to keep the cat in the bag.

“You’ve been looking me up, Amamiya-kun?” Akechi taps the end of the fork against his chin, resting on his palm as he looks up with garnet doe eyes.

Ren shrugs, feeling a little flustered, “I wanted to get you a gift, figured that was a good place to start.”

Akechi mulls over this, face tilted downwards, his bangs hide his eyes from view.

“Do you always get gifts for your acquaintances like this?”

“Hmm, yeah, it kinda makes me feel good. I like making people feel indebted to me, you know.” A small smirk tilts his lips as Ren leans forward a little over the counter towards Akechi’s form. Intent on dispelling the vaguely worrying feeling that's come over Akechi.

Akechi removes his hand obscuring his eyes and looks up at him, if there was something hiding in those eyes, it's already fading away.

“I am very grateful for your kind gesture then, Amamiya-kun.”

Later, when the rest of the cake has disappeared, Akechi prepares to leave, his gloved hand lingering on the counter, turned away with his briefcase in the other hand.

“This was a nicer evening than I was expecting, and it's thanks to you.” A soft smile brushes at his lips and the turn of his eyes.

“I would have to make it up to you, Amamiya, I would hate to be indebted when you have accommodated me so thoroughly.”

Ren waves his hand at him, rubbing at the back of his neck with the other. “Yeah, yeah, I look forward to it. Have a good night Akechi.”

When the door tinkles close, the cafe is quiet, Ren wipes down the tables and seats, sweeps, lingers wonderingly near the chair Akechi always occupies. After the lights go off, Ren retires to his bed, feeling satisfied. As the sounds of the wind chime in the breeze brings him to sleep, his thoughts linger on a certain detective.

It's during another chess session that's become to normal to them when Akechi’s concentration drifts away during their game. Ren can feel his agitation in his slight fidgeting and how, in his hindbrain Ren unconsciously categorizes how Akechi’s movements are stiffer and unnatural from how he usually conducts himself. He doesn't bring it up though, if Akechi trusts him, he will talk to him. Ren hopes he will.

It's when Ren captures another one of his pieces that he finally speaks up.

“I apologize Amamiya-kun, I cannot seem to concentrate tonight, I am afraid I am boring you.” Akechi says without meeting his eyes, his lips press together thinly in frustration.

Ren contemplates the board, twirling a piece between his fingers. “Do you want to go for a walk?”

Akechi looks up at him, surprised, maybe a little suspicious.

“It might help you get some energy out, it helps me clear my mind when I go out at night.” Ren gave his best harmless smile, getting up and idly rubbing his hair as he waits for a response. “And there's less chance someone would recognize you this late.”

Akechi’s gaze doesn't leave his face as he seems to weigh the suggestion against other options more intensely than Ren would have ever expected for such an innocuous idea.

“I think… you might be onto something Amamiya-kun.” Ren mildly flips his eyes up at the doubt as Akechi continues, “This actually might be better…” He trails off, deep in thought as he finally gets up and joins Ren at the door.

Ren locks the door, flipping the sign to closed, and as they walk side by side, Ren leading the way, they fall into a comfortable silence, only broken when Ren offers up trivia on the stores and scenery they pass.

Eventually, Ren can feel Akechi settle into the rhythm of their stroll; shoulders loosening, their strides matching stroke by stroke, the backs of their hands occasionally brush.

“Do you often go out for these night walks, Amamiya-kun?”

“When I feel the need to, and the need changes depending on my schoolwork and things. It's a different way from letting out stress than going to the batting cages, kinda like going fishing, but I don't gotta pay for anything.”

“What could be bringing you stress, Amamiya? If you don't mind me asking, of course, even so late into the evening you exude such peace and confidence, I'm quite jealous.”

With the things Ren knows about Akechi, he can’t help but translate that sentence into, _when do you break, Amamiya?_

But he acquiesces to the request, when so rarely Akechi lets his guard down and dares to ask about these things, “There’s a lot of factors, but I can't let most of it get to me, otherwise I would've gone under months ago. You know, how the moment I got to Shujin everybody avoided me. It’s easier to not think about some things.”

Ren paused, weighing the words before saying, “I guess, deep inside, I somehow kept hope alive for the future, that things will turn out okay.”

“Yes,” comes Akechi’s light voice after a pause, “I believe I do admire that about you.”

They have reached the end of a street that opens out into a road, and as they lean on the concrete wall framing the road, Ren turns to look at Akechi the moment he turns to do the same. In the dark gloom, Akechi’s face is shrouded, his expression hard to discern, but Ren hopes from what he can tell of the set of his shoulders that he is preparing to talk about what was bothering him all evening.

Before he does though, Ren can appreciate what he does see of Akechi’s face; round cheeks that belie his age, sloping down to a sharp, graceful chin, he can't help but admire Akechi’s features, all other issues between them withstanding. At this moment, they both indulge, as he can feel Akechi's gaze drawing over his face as well. When cars drive by, they cast light over Akechi's face in brief flashes, lighting up half of his visage and giving clarity into eyes bright with purpose.

“Ren, I have something to give to you. I did say I would return the favor, and…” He swallows. “You have given me so much with your company, with your own promises to me when you gave me your king.”

The words pile out of Akechi’s mouth to stuff Ren’s brain full of cotton. This is the most earnest he has ever heard Akechi, and with the limited time they have together, it feels so, so wrong. Because Ren knows that he will never show all he is to him, because they are two sides of the same coin, and no sight of whether they are both meant to survive this ordeal, but still Ren wants him.

From his pocket Akechi pulls out a handkerchief, folded up neat into a square, and presents it to Ren with both hands.

It is a black, satiny cloth, with crow feathers embroidered into it in white, on one side is いつか来る別れに怯えながら傍にいるより抱きあう夢を見る今の方が幸せなのか written in looping red lettering.

“To be honest, this is a little foreboding, do you have something you want to tell me Goro-kun?” His tone is teasing but to tell the truth his heart is beating rapidly with a stomach eating panic.

“Nothing more than that you are an invaluable presence in my life, Ren, that much I can say is true.” His voice hushed, a secret for them.

Ren searches his face for any clue of his true intentions, eyes flicking back and forth, but his expressions give nothing away except that he is sober. His face open, but Ren wouldn't call it vulnerable. This is a concession he is willing to make, if not any of the other ones that Ren wants from him.

The cloth is soft and smooth; the raised ridges of the feathers a pleasing break to rub his thumb over, Ren folds it and puts it in his pocket. He returns his gaze to Akechi and can feel the affection that's always simmering at the bottom of his heart break through in his smile. Sometimes he can't help it in regard to Akechi’s face.

“And I you, Goro,” He reaches across the space between them slowly, watching for an objection. Akechi allowing him, he places his hand high up on his shoulder, thumb almost brushing Akechi’s neck, but Ren can feel his warmth through his jacket even without the skin contact. Akechi may have shivered, but it's hard to tell. It is only for a moment before his hand falls away, brushing down his arm.

“Come by again soon, we can talk in my room okay?” He searches out the other boy’s hand for a moment. “I look forward to seeing you then, good night.” He takes a couple steps backward, waiting for a farewell, stealing more looks of Akechi’s face, and Akechi watching him in turn, “Good night to you as well, Amamiya.” And Ren turns around to head back to LeBlanc; feeling Akechi’s gaze on his back all the way until the corner.

That night two hearts were full of anticipation, because Ren is pretty sure that’s the closest to a blatant confession they’re ever going to get.

Mere days passed before Goro found the time to stay late at Leblanc again. Ren liked to imagine that he thought of Ren a lot in those interim days, that he couldn’t wait to see him again, because Ren was stuck on him too. The reel of thoughts in his head never passed too many moments without Goro featuring in them.

Goro arrived just as Sojiro left for a moment, and Ren waved him upstairs, so that no one was the wiser when Sojiro came back and Ren was free to flee upstairs. He brought a cup of Goro’s favorite blend with him.

He worked at the knot of his apron as he ascended the stairs, forcing his stomach flutters to calm as well, unraveling the tension in his shoulders so that a wave of calm took over him; whatever happened tonight, Ren was prepared to face it with tranquility at least. Goro sat at the couch, very still, not scanning like he expected of the detective. Ren appreciates the sight of him alone in his bedroom very much.

After giving Goro the coffee, Ren sits on his bed, watching Goro sip at his cup, savoring the flavor. He has a specific way of holding the coffee in his mouth before swallowing it and sometimes it makes a small clicking sound. How many cups of coffee has Ren made for him at this point? Little white ceramic circles of comfort to fill the boy with warmth, drawing him to come back to Ren, filling his veins with bright acidity.

Fuck it, Ren kinda has been waiting for this since forever.

“Hey, Goro, do you ever think about first kisses?”

He looks up from his cup, “Oh no, it has never held any significance to me, after all…” he looks away, towards the window, gloved hand held close to his lips, “but never mind that, why do you ask?”

“Do you think it's time we've had our first kiss?” Ren leans back on his hands and tilts his head coyly, smirk teasing his lips. Hoping beyond hope his request would be humored. After a pause Goro gets up from his seat, taking off his gloves and loosening his tie, his body turned towards Ren, as though it's a show for him. His face looks blank from where Ren is sitting.

“And bring me your coffee, will you?”

“Ahaha, I didn't know you would be such a demanding one in the bedroom, Ren-kun.” Goro says, shaking his head as he also slips off his jacket, Ren chooses not to respond, focusing instead on Goro approaching him, eating up the distance between them quickly, before Goro is in his space, looming, consuming his vision and attention.

“You just have to take it from my mouth, okay?” Ren winks, taking the proffered cup and drinking. Tilting his head up after placing the cup on the floor, he purses his lips, a pleading in his eyes.

“Oh my, you’re quite the little devil aren’t you, Ren?” says Goro on a sigh, leaning close, and immediately Ren feels him taking control. His bare hand holds Ren’s chin with a thumb and index finger, guiding Ren to offer himself up even more, and a delighted shiver runs down his spine at the implication. Lips slide between his own, and when Ren pushes the coffee forward with his tongue, Goro sips it slowly from him. They are pressed close, Goro putting a knee onto the bed between his legs, and he takes the coffee as if he is suckling it out of Ren, drawing out the moment deliciously, until he pulls away with a motion that somehow lingers even as he leaves Ren with a lush last swipe at his bottom lip. His eyes flutter open in time to see a tongue flicking out to get any last traces from Goro’s lips.

It feels like Goro did not only drink coffee from his mouth, but also use the opportunity to drain his very energy as well, leaving Ren dazed, heady with the dopamine Goro’s touch elicits coursing through him.

He flops backward onto his mattress, groaning, “Uuughhhh, do whatever you want with me Goro, I’m all yours.”

“Oh?” that stupid _oh_ again, intrigued and teasing, “All mine, you say?" the mattress dips near his hips and Ren opens his eyes fearfully to witness the boy climbing up his body, his hands now next to his head, and - gods that assured smirk on Goro’s face is so sexy -

“Alright then, come up here,”

Hands pull him up to lean him on the wall at the head of the bed and Goro sits himself against the adjacent wall. Raising an eyebrow, Ren grins wickedly and swings his legs into Goro’s lap, squirming to get comfortable, expecting many good things from the other boy.

Goro settles himself, brushing a hand through his hair to fix it briefly, then he gets another look at Ren’s face, and Ren swears he vibrates imperceptibly for a moment, before giving in and leaning forward. Their lips meet again and he relishes the feeling, breathing in Goro’s clean scent. He pushes deeper into Ren’s mouth, his hand sliding higher up his thigh, and Ren’s breath stutters.

Goro pulls away earlier than Ren wants, but the look on his face gives him a pause.

“Ren, you’re going to listen to me closely.”

Ren tilts his head at the obvious statement, but chooses not to comment. “Mhm.”

Hands smooth over his thighs, straightening the fabric of his pants, and Ren fights not to fidget. Goro isn’t looking him in the face.

“This evening may take an...unexpected turn, it is just a sign of how much I enjoy your company, do not take it as a rejection of other intimacies so...”

When he pauses again, Ren feels like it would be a good moment to nod encouragingly, so he does.

“Well then,” Goro finally says, looking up, a glint entering his eyes like he’s preparing for the long haul, “I’m sure you could guess that I hate inefficiency and incompetent people, usually I can tolerate it, but in the office today there was an absolute imbecile that could not complete even the most simple of tasks. They almost spilled coffee on my papers as well. I don’t know what has gotten into those people lately, but it seems everybody is out to get me these past couple of days. Imagine having to be cordial to those types of people day in and day out, I simply could not escape fast enough and come to the cafe to see you. Especially not after that one piece of shit of an officer -”

Ren sits in stunned silence as he watches Goro spit vitriol as smoothly as if he was reciting the lyrics to a rap; embellished with curse words flying out like nobody’s business. A smile creeps onto his face at Goro’s admission to looking forward to seeing him that he doesn’t even blink an eye at voicing.

He couldn’t even be miffed at being cockblocked, when he said he would take whatever Goro gives him, evidently that statement is being tested, and, Ren finds he means it wholeheartedly.

How can he protest, when he falls forward into Goro’s chest, laughing breathlessly at hearing him call someone a “lumbering rhinoceros clown” and a “spider so dumb it forgot how to spin webs.” He leans against him, listening to his soothing voice rise and fall.

Goro’s hands linger around his thigh area, sometimes smoothing and pressing with fingertips. There are so many sounds and feelings to commit to memory. Another autumn evening together.

Ren can’t help but give him more kisses, Goro accepting them with so much as a word. When Ren pulls back from their warm, dry kisses, he sees they brought a little smile to Goro’s face, and the well in his heart that holds his love for the boy deepens ever more.

Whatever happens, he cherishes what they have.

**Author's Note:**

> ty for reading.
> 
> i'm on twitter [@brynhildvelvet](https://twitter.com/brynhildvelvet) :3


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